By the time the person reaches therapy, they have so many other people’s ideas in their head that they cannot get in touch with their feelings.Īllowing this person to talk and reflect and then sit in the silence of their feelings can be enormously helpful for sorting through the noise of others’ opinions. This person’s family and friends have many opinions about the move and have let them know it. Collecting their thoughts before responding (Valle, 2019)Īnother way to use silence is to help the client reflect on a situation in which they feel overwhelmed by input from significant others in their lives.Īn example would be a much-beloved person who is thinking about taking a job in a faraway city.Challenging the client to take responsibility.Therapists’ use of silence in psychotherapy includes: How a therapist thinks about silence depends on their theoretical orientation. Sometimes not saying anything can be more effective than saying something mindless, because it gives the client a safe space to reflect. Silence is a powerful tool for a therapist to have at their disposal.Ī good time to use silence is if a client brings a problem to the session, and the clinician does not know what to say. It is one of the most vital aspects of treatment. It is more than just the absence of talking. By talking about the silence between them, the silence itself becomes material for the therapy.Īs we will explore, there are many uses for silence in therapy. Therapists can choose to turn silence into a therapeutic event by bringing it to the client’s attention in the conversation. Silence can also be a therapeutic event within itself, a moment in which the client can dig deeper into the emotional experience they are having in the session (Knol et al., 2020). This silence is a moment for reflection, where the client gets to let their psychological processes happen without the input or interference of the clinician (Knol et al., 2020). This “intra-topic” silence is a therapeutic tool that therapists can use to help their clients go deeper into the material by allowing them to think about what to say next. Silence occurs not only between topics, but also within them. When silence falls, this usually signifies a change from one issue to the next (Knol et al., 2020). They discuss this initial topic for a while, often branching off into other subtopics. In many forms of treatment, the client usually starts the session by bringing an issue to the therapist’s attention. This role is usually to separate different topics within the discourse between speakers. Silence plays a structural role in therapy, just as it does in every conversation. If the clinician implements silence skillfully, it can encourage clients to reflect, connect with their feelings, and continue their train of thought (Knol et al., 2020). Psychotherapy is a unique form of conversation, one that allows for extended periods of silence. It is an activity in itself that is relevant to the therapy process (Knol, Koole, Desmet, Vanheule, & Huiskes, 2020). We usually think of silence as the absence of talking, but silence is a positive event. They were using silence as a tool to facilitate my growth and allow me to work things out for myself. As it turns out, these therapists weren’t trying to drive me crazy. At times, this has felt maddening at other times, it’s been a great relief. ’s Helpful ResourcesĪll of my therapists have been incredibly quiet clinicians.When to Use Silence as a Counseling Technique.These science-based exercises explore fundamental aspects of positive psychology, including strengths, values, and self-compassion, and will give you the tools to enhance the wellbeing of your clients, students, or employees. Readers on either side of treatment will learn about the clinical utility of silence, what silence communicates, and why therapists are sometimes so darn quiet.īefore you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Positive Psychology Exercises for free. In this post, we discuss the use of silence in therapy. “Silence is golden” may be an obvious cliché with which to start this article, but it holds true.Įven though silence may be uncomfortable, it can be a valuable tool for facilitating growth in treatment. Still, for anyone who’s taken part in a therapy session, you know that silence is a big part of conducting or attending a therapy session. Silence may seem like a strange concept to highlight in a treatment based around conversation.
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